Hello there, hoping life treats you kindly.
I didn't get to the finishing line of Part 3 of the series: A Writing Journey of My Memoir I've been drafting the whole week. But please read Part 2 of it here before I post Part 3 next time.
This week, we (my husband and I) were hit hard by a wrecking ball of bad news.
Just a big gamble of chance that didn't turn out in the way we expected it to be after having been betting everything on it (time, energy, hopes, opportunities) for almost two years. He is swamped with disappointment, despair, anxiety, stress, and deep regret, as it was his decision to wait around for it despite faint warning voices in the background from me.
He made a decision to trust the judgment of a single person, and I did the same; I trusted his. It's true that we're both in this together, his decision and mine, lead both of us here in this despair but the impact of guilt he feels is far more. Hence, the entire week has been spent simultaneously comforting and challenging the wounded.
The main focus of this is, trying to help him put things in perspective. Asking brutally honest questions, stating the hard truth, to get down to the root cause of this distress. I'd sum up the situation he's been in (professionally) as walking on a tightrope that is suspended in the air a hundred meters above the ground– fear of height and out of breath, but still having to keep on walking. So, to say that he now needs to continue in this condition to nowhere and in uncertainty would put him in such distress.
Now the situation is consuming him. Everything he experiences feels and looks worse than it actually is, when in fact, it has been in this same way for a while from my point of view. When we see things with eyes that gleam with hope, it always looks bright and promising. But when in gloomy despair, everything looks like we're in the black-and-white silent movie from the late 19th century.
The situation isn't getting worse, but his ability to cope with it is. It feels like he's at the edge and about to fall because he has put all his hopes, strength, and energy into waiting in vain, and now all the resources are used up. I reminded him to focus on regenerating the good energy and hope again, and this is what he needs to prioritize right now in order to go on without damaging his mental well-being, health, and performance at work and at home– essentially, it eats him whole.
We can't go on in bad shape for much longer before we do more damage to ourselves than getting anywhere far.
So, stop. Step aside or above it. Stay afloat. Detach.
Reboost your energy first, and remind yourself that you are LARGER than this bad situation. Look at yourself from a position of power; the seat of the Higher Self.
I will choose him every time, with or without that dream job he lost. He is now reminded to choose himself first, over other things because he is larger than all of them. Of course, there will be hurdles to overcome, problems to be resolved, and difficult actions and decisions to make, but these are external.
How we respond to the situations is still entirely under our control. We still can make choices, can choose, can believe, and can feel better. This internal power stays with us.
Even if we have to wait in this less-than-ideal situation that spans the length of perpetual uncertainty, we still have each other and a great life ahead.
If things don't turn out this or that way, I'll still have a great life.
I believe in this, and this belief has picked me up from a fall countless times.
And still counting.
2 quotes that resonate with the vibes of the week.
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." – Jimmy Dean.
"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." – Alexander Graham Bell
1 self-reminder to meditate on
Your performance at work is not your worth. Don't tie everything in your life to it
