Plunge to the Unknown: A Courage to Self-Discovery
What are the biggest and boldest plunges you took in life that left an impression that shaped who you are today?
We often feel like we always find ourselves at a crossroads, and most of the time, we don’t feel confident about the choice we should make. There’s no formula for success in telling the right way from the wrong one. What’s good now may not be good after, compared to the endless opportunities that span a lifetime.
Good or bad, who really knows?
One door closes, and another one opens. Because I did that, I then learned this. There’s never a ‘mistake,’ but you need to grow past or at least approach midway in life to realize this; otherwise, yes, it was a mistake, and I was humiliated and hated myself for it.
I’ll share with you the proudest plunges I took at a considerably early age that significantly shaped my life.
- Keeping true to my dream no matter what the cost.
Since middle school, I wanted to become an architect. At that age, all I knew was architects built nice homes. I didn’t have a nice home, so I had to go to school to learn how to build one.
I got into architecture school at seventeen, left home for another city, and then got expelled from it after the second year (I will tell a longer story some other time).
Then I was sent abroad to begin again, in a country where English is its first language. English wasn’t my first language (and still isn’t), but I persevered through the bloodied and bruised, long, arduous years of the seemingly endless battlefield — and finished it (also many long but fun stories worth telling later).
After I came back and worked as an architect until approaching midlife, the meaning of why I wanted to become an architect progressively transformed throughout the years. I realized that I wasn’t looking to build a nice brick-and-mortar home. The mission was for my soul to find a ‘home’, a safe place, a place where I feel heard, seen, and belonged. And this brought me to the two important questions of my life: ‘Who am I?’ and ‘Why do I exist (in this life)?’
This was the point that transcended the meaning of my existence as a human being. Growing old, heading toward the sunset with peace, the wisdom of the truth about life, and hence, contentment.
2. Ditching my first-ever annual vacation from work to attend a 10-day Vipassana meditation course.
I was in the second year of my so-called adult life. At that time, I was entitled to seven days of annual leave from my firm. I had to weigh between an island vacation down the south of Thailand with my friends or going to sit crossed legs, with closed eyes, and in complete silence — all day, for ten straight days (and to be able to do that, I also couldn’t take any short break in between the year to remain the full seven days). They were two completely different roads to choose for my twenty-four-year-old self,
As a Buddhist (a curious one), I was already familiar with the teachings of Buddhism but never practiced. I knew I wanted to find out all about it, but abandoning the one chance of fun time to go into this ‘unknown’ landscape was terrifying.
And I’m glad I did choose the unknown path. My curiosity and appetite for growth won over the instant gratification of yet another good time with friends.
I went for another two years straight after that. Then life happened, and I paused for almost ten years. Until after I left my full-time job when I could manage to go every year (with the exception of the pandemic years), and with the luxury of a clear head from a non-existent stressful day job, I’ve been able to sit (almost) every day for almost eight years.
Stop doing the math. My message is this.
Always go with the choice that scares you the most.
Self-awareness is a rare commodity. Most people walk through life unconsciously. It takes a lot of hard work to know who we are and develop into the person we can be.
The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. — Joseph Campbell.
Mindfulness practice of any kind is precious when it comes to cultivating self-awareness. Plenty of research and studies go to length about the benefits of meditation, not only in the dimensions of spiritual or religious aspects but also in psychology and neuroscience.
It’s good for the health and the brain, but it’s best for the soul. It’s the path to take you down into the unconscious using the sensation on the body as a tool to connect with your Self (this is in the case of Vipassana).
Start now.
Start small, even five minutes at your desk before beginning your work day. And when the time comes, go on the intensive 10-day course to learn the proper technique. Give it a try.
Trust that there will be your time.
These are two of the (many) proudest plunges I took.
What are yours?
