Little things to make sure you have a day you won't regret.
"It's hard to remember that this day will never come again. That the time is now and the place is here and that there are no second chances at a single moment." – Jeanette Winterson
This quote reminds me to seize the moment and make the most of every life opportunity. It highlights the importance of embracing the present moment and striving to make choices that align with my calling while I still have the chance.
At this very moment, on this day of my precious life, time is passing; how proactive am I in engaging with the here and now?
This past year and a half caught me completely off balance for some strange cosmic reason. Numerous unexpected (and expected) trips, a few short-notice changes, unforeseen plans, and the significant shifting of environment from the orderly, pleasant spring of Japan, where the Sakura bloomed like a breathtaking painting, to the chaotic, humid, insect-infested monsoon of Bali. My world turned upside down, leaving me feeling giddy and silly for no good reason.
I've been working on some writing since Friday, trying not to force myself to write, but write – and that's not easy. The more force I apply not to try, the more south it seems to head, and there's nothing I can do to peel myself off the couch that I've been adhering to in the past days and proceed to the desk.
Unexpectedly, with my last bit of energy, I courageously made my way to it this morning and wrote a little reminder to myself. I was done with losing days to being passive and non-productive, wasting time bingeing on commercial consumption, and getting confused about trying and not trying to work. I asked myself;
What would make a doomed day like this a good day?
And there, from off the top of my head to my depleted self-confidence, I wrote a list of reminders;
- No doomed-scrolling on the phone just because you can't bring yourself to the desk. Put the phone down, and instead deal with that stack of papers you've been ignoring (at least, you'll be proud of yourself later).
- No bingeing on YouTube just because you think it's part of the research; you have scheduled time for that.
- Journal your thoughts. Purge it all out, declutter the mental space.
- Try to meditate again. Try HARDER.
- Declutter the desk, clean the house, and sort out all the pending chores if you really can't work.
- Get out of the pajamas, take a shower, and put on a fresh shirt and makeup.
- Get out of the house if doomed-scrolling is the only activity you can do if you stay in. Change the state.
Although these tasks may seem mundane, they often feel like solving an equation to launch a rocket when noisy thoughts cloud my head and my body is filled with stagnant energy.
But I'll try anyway.
I aim to accomplish as many as possible, but if that is still too much, I would do at least one, even the most minor tasks, like washing my hair or clearing out the sink. Then I will have a good (or at least decent) day.
Make your own list of things you'll be proud of when you accomplish them. Although it won't move any needle on work, but it'll keep you from mindlessly engaging in things you will regret later (which is already a step away from self-sabotage trap and towards personal growth).
But of course, life will sometimes throw us special days (like the raining-the-whole-damn-week kind of days) that I still find myself not feeling strong enough to fight the disposition to stay inert, then I will ask myself,
"Have I done anything to make myself proud today? Just one thing."
Usually, it's a yes since I start my day at 5 am with either an hour of meditation or a dream journal. Keeping myself away from the phone until lunch break and not being disturbed while I'm at my desk working would also be something I do and feel proud of myself (for not losing my attention to the passive old habit pattern of craving to matter and be seen).
And if, for the sake of giving an example, I still feel like I haven't done anything that makes me proud since almost 12 hours I've been awake (c'mon!), I will final check again,
"What can I do right now to make myself proud?" Then I'll do that one thing, right then (usually it's the simplest thing, such as staying with my breaths and being aware of the sensations in the body– a Vipassana meditation technique).
All of this is what "fighting" means. I am fighting toward that light of consciousness.
Small work is better than no work. A bad first draft is better than no draft. When the day is tough, focus on small steps and keep moving.
Progress is bliss, not perfection.
And here I am writing this. Despite my fear of imperfection, I show up and do what I'm here to do, knowing that tomorrow will surely be the same. And so do you.
A salute to all the Warriors of Light, you're doing a marvelous job.
Thank you for spending time with me today.
